Hi ,
In the last letter, I left you with a big question: How do you know if a hunch is real or just your imagination?
It is a question I have spent years exploring, and I want to be clear that it is always a work in progress. Learning to sort this out requires a high level of internal awareness. You have to learn to name the feeling as it arises. “Oh, this is a potential impression.” That in itself is a study. But there is a wonderment in it when we find those delicate moments, like catching a firefly and delighting in the mystery of its soft, pulsing glow. There are questions like “how can this even happen?”
Here are the markers I use to evaluate “potential innovations.”
The Association Test
One of the first questions you should ask yourself is this: “Did this thought or feeling arise just after I was thinking about something related to it?”
For example, if you are thinking about politics or a difficult business relationship and you suddenly feel a sense of dread, it is likely not intuition. Often, you’re experiencing a somatic memory rooted in forgotten memory or unconscious belief. It’s not that this doesn’t have value, but in my system, these are generally just fear-based responses and not intuition.
True intuition usually has an “out of the blue” quality. If there is no rational trail leading to the thought, the score for its validity goes up.
The Vocabulary of the Other
Another major clue for me is noticing myself using language or metaphors I don’t normally use.
If I am working with a client and I say, “The way you manage these projects is like a chef spicing a meal,” a flag goes up in my mind. Why? Because I never use cooking metaphors. I don’t think in terms of “spicing a meal.”
When you notice that you are using language or imagery that is unusual for you, it is a sign that you might be picking up an impression from the other person. You are resonant enough that their vocabulary and imagery is surfacing in your own mind.
In those moments, I might pause and ask, “I don’t usually use language like this, but do you cook? Does the idea of seasoning or spicing something relate to how you work?” Sometimes they say yes, and sometimes they say no. Either way, noticing that the thought felt “foreign” is a great way to tune your intuition.
Loud and Quiet Signals
While I’m sure there are a lot more nuanced approaches to this, for me, Intuition generally shows up in two ways.
…First, there are the “Loud” intuitions.
These hit you over the head. They are urgent and unexpected. I think of the story told by Gabrielle Roth, a famous ecstatic dance teacher (I had the good fortune to attend a few of her workshops). She was sitting in a fast-food restaurant when she had a sudden, irrational urge to move to another table. She followed the hunch. Two minutes later, a light fixture fell from the ceiling directly onto the table where she had been sitting. This kind of signal is loud and usually demands immediate action.
This was an easy yes for her because she was a mystic and shaman – so things didn’t need to “make sense” to be actionable. This was a part of her ordinary world.
…Then, there are the “Quiet” intuitions.
These are subtle and harder to work with. They are often nonsensical or completely outside your typical way of thinking. Like the “spicing a meal” example, these “left-field” impressions often prove to be the most meaningful.
The Practice of Low Stakes
To practice, you don’t start by testing your intuition on life-altering decisions. You build the muscle in low-consequence scenarios. Try it when there is very little to lose. In casual conversation with friend and acquantiances is a great way to play. And i think of it often as play, as I am deeply curious about others and it is fun to explore these areas when the circumstances are right. I migh take a small risk whith people I encounter in a professional context such as a physical therapist, nurse, or others I encounter in proper settings.
A real world example: The other evening I was at a meditation event and at the end, as we were gathering up out things – I chatted for a minute with thie woman next to me, who, for whatever reason, stood out as really changed from the experience of the meditation. She was “brighter” somehow and more settled. I had the thought “this woman is someone who has good intuition and knows whats true, but doesn’t trust it enough.” I know enough about the way I work that I scored this pretty high on “is this an intuition” scale.
The conversation that followed went like this (I’ll call her Beth):
Me: How was that mediation for you?
Beth: Soooo good. It really enjoyed that.
Me: Me too, I had a good feeling this so I thought I would check it out.
Beth: Me too! I had felt like this was the place to be. (emphatically) So glad I did.
Me: Would you say you’re someone who has good intuition like that? Like somehow, you kind of know what’s what’s true and that has been helpful in your life?”
(that’s a bit of a stretch, but it felt really safe in this context)
Beth: (Looking delightfully suprised) – YES, I’ve always had this sense of that. I don’t trust it enough, for sure.
Me: I hear you there. Seems like that might be a superpower for you.
Beth: I never throught of it like that…. what do you do?
Which led to me feeling awakard as I really don’t know how to tell people what do.
But you get the point, I hope.
In this way, I was able to check my “sense” of this person, without being weird about it, in a low stakes envirohment, and it landed.
Helpful, Not Impressive
Finally, there is an important ethical guardrail. Especially in my role as a coach or intuitive reader (which I’m doing more of these days), I have to be careful. I never want to use intuition just to demonstrate a capacity or to be “impressive.”
The goal is always to be helpful and to help create authentic connection. Not to show off. If an impression doesn’t serve the person in front of me, I set it aside. Ideally, we use these insights to deepen our connection to the great mystery of who we are individually and collectively – in service of seeing others more fully, and connecting in meaningful ways – not to be powerful or impressive. In the example above, my intent was to not only check my intuition, but also encourage her to own her own inner “north star” – as my sense was “here’s a woman who has a lot of inner knowing, and my wish for her is that she can ally with that to benefit herself and those in her life.”
And to be honest, that’s my wish for you to. You have a superpower and I hope you can ally with it to make your life and the world around you a better place.
I would love to hear about a “loud” or “quiet” hunch you have had recently. Did you follow it?
Stay present,
Brett