Hi ,
This is a topic I have never written about, but it is a big part of the way I see the world working.
As you know by now, I’m a systems thinker, and I believe very strongly that our inner world works very much like the outer one in many ways that are not obvious.
For example, I have this notion that the mechanics of how we heal emotionally mirror how we heal physically. If you have a bruise on your arm, the body marshals resources to heal it. You don’t “do” anything; that happens automatically. The body knows what to do.
If someone touches you in that wounded spot, you instantly pull away. “Ouch, don’t touch me there, I’m hurt there.“
Similarly, if you are wounded emotionally, your system creates defenses, and you will push people away or retreat when they tread near sensitive topics. You’re injured there, you have an emtional burise – so it’s a natural, automatic process to protect it.
But today, I wanted to write about another inner/outer parallel I see that is a bit more esoteric, but very helpful in understanding why humans do what we do.
It’s a notion drawn from the world of orbits and gravity.
Now, I know that sounds far from the world of mindfulness and communication, but it’s actually quite relevant. Let me explain.
In the natural world, a large mass in space creates gravity.
And we all know that when a smaller object with just the correct amount of velocity comes near (not too fast, not too slow), its path is altered by that pull.
When conditions are right, it can be drawn into a stable orbit around the larger object.
This is the natural force that keeps moons around planets and planets circling the sun.
And if I look at humans through this kind of lens, you see people whose entire identities orbit a central, external belief system. Something provided for them.
You see this all the time in religion, of course, where “the truth” is what’s in scripture or spoken by someone they revere. It’s also in identity politics or any other system where what is “right” is not internally referenced, but rather, by something or someone outside of you.
In this case, a person is orbiting around an external “system” like a moon orbits a planet. Consequently, any challenge to the integrity of this external belief system is vigorously, sometimes violently, rebutted.
The core premise is this: when someone doesn’t develop their own center, their own gravity, their own reference for what is true, they organize their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs around someone or something else that gives them meaning, structure, and a sense of understanding their world.
But as you know, the world is full of people and systems very willing to provide these templates for you to organize around. And while that can be helpful, it can also be exploitative.
This brings us to a fundamental truth.
If you don’t have a sense of who you are in your bones, then someone else will provide that for you.
And people often find their way to me or someone else doing similar work, asking, “How can I be who I am and not what the world wants me to be?”
And that is holy work. That is the mission of creating a center for yourself.
(Ideally, we would have healthy teaching systems, where you orbit the system for a while—a system designed to help you create your own center—and then you graduate. There are ancient schools like this, but in modern times, there are few examples.)
So this week, I invite you to gently look at the world around you. Where do you see people orbiting belief systems, thought leaders, and teachers? Where are you doing something similar? What is your “base” for knowing foundational truths?
There’s no right or wrong answer. It is simply an awareness to hold as we begin this exploration.
Stay present, and remember, the body knows, the mind wonders.
– Brett
P.S. Next time, we’ll talk about the practical steps for how to develop/enchance your own center