Hi ,
I have a question for you.
What happens in you when someone says a kind word, offers appreciation, or gives you authentic praise?
Someone says, “I just want to say how much I appreciate you.”
What happens in you?
When I give authentic praise or kudos to someone else, I notice this:
Vefy often people reply automatically with:
“Oh, thanks.”
“No big deal.”
“Appreciate that.”
But the thing is… it doesn’t really feel like appreciation.
It feels like: That’s nice, but I’m just saying this quickly so I don’t have to actually feel anything – and I hope we move on.
I notice this now because I did the same thing for many years.
I’d hear, “Brett, that was really nice,” or “Brett, thank you – I really appreciate that.”
People were truly sending good vibes my way, but I wasn’t having any of it.
It’s like receiving a gift and just setting it down, unopened.
What changed for me was an insight I had when talking with a colleague who spotted it in real time.
He said, “I wonder… do you let yourself feel appreciated when you hear that?”
Of course, I reactively said, “Sure, of course,” in the same offhand way.
But then I paused and thought, Huh. I wonder what this would be like if I just let it sink in for a minute.
So right then and there, I decided to give myself permission – if you will – to actually feel a moment of being appreciated when it’s offered.
And something amazing happened.
I felt my heart “come online.”
A kind of warm, flowing vibe that felt like a virtual hug.
And that was a great feeling.
And when I replied from that place—“Thank you, I really appreciate that”—there was so much more authenticity and connection in it. You could hear and feel the difference.
Nice.
So now, this is a regular practice for me.
It goes like this:
Someone says, “Thank you so much. I really appreciate your insight. It means a lot.”
(Or as a client told me recently: “Brett, words cannot express how meaningful this session was.”)
In moments like that, the first thing I do is – not speak.
I take a breath and let it in—by checking in with my heart and breathing into the feeling.
I literally think, It’s okay to feel this.
I’m not trying to amplify it or turn it into a big dramatic thing—but I am allowing the impact.
Then, when I feel like I’ve actually tasted being appreciated, then I reply.
And that reply is one that is far more grounded, centered, and rich than casual “no problem.”
In this way, you conciously add a great moment to your day and invite authentic connection as well.
Plus, for those you concenred about such things, you model what mindful communiation looks like for others as well.
This is one of those small but powerful mindfulness moments that can quietly add nourishing moments to your day.
So when appreciation is knocking on your door, let it in.
Stay present,
Brett