Last time, we talked about the stories we invent when faced with an unanswered text or incomplete information in a conversation.
Those stories often have the effect of bringing a lot of anxiety and tension into the moment as you’re imagining something you don’t really know is true, but emotionally feeling it as if it were.
(That’s what our brains do. They feel what you think about. That’s a source of tremendous suffering, or a great resource).
As promised, let’s apply that same practice of inquiring into what is true in the moment to another common source of frustration: traffic.
I first learned about traffic as a great way to practice mindfulness while teaching meditation.
At that time, I was meditating a LOT, and it changed the way I interacted with the world (to this day).
One day, while stuck in traffic on the interstate, I was getting pretty annoyed.
I began to explore my experience of being tense, reactive, and generally having a bad time of it.
As I was hanging out with my experience, a thought I wasn’t expecting appeared: “Waiting is.”
Esoteric for sure, but some of you may recognize that’s a phrase from Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein.
I had read that book years earlier, and it had a big impact on me.
Heinlein, by today’s standards, was chauvinistic, but his stories were captivating and had embedded in them powerful teachings..
BTW, the book is the source for a term you may have heard, “grok,” which means to understand something deeply. And you may also know is what Elon Musk named his AI. I’m not a fan, but it’s intresting fact nonetheless.)
And finally, to the point.
The main character in the book was a human raised by Martians. (Valentine Michael Smith)
And in the Martian culture, as explained by Michael (who becomes a controversial spiritual icon), there is a belief about waiting.
The core of it is – “Waiting Is.”
- Waiting doesn’t need justification.
- Waiting doesn’t require an object (“waiting for something”).
- Waiting itself is a whole experience, a natural condition of existence.
Very Zen.
So I leaned into that phrase in that moment in traffic.
And instead of being annoyed for the next 30 minutes, I simply enjoyed the ride, listening to music I like and taking in those amazing, gigantic Oklahoma skies.
I use this same practice almost every day, especially in lines at Costco or other places where people queue up.
Instead of getting annoyed at the line, I do my best to just invoke “waiting is.”
I use the term “invoke” because it feels to me like a summoning.
These days, I call practices like this “Touchstones,” as they help me quickly connect to being, heart, or the divine in the moment.
It’s as if I had a magical polished stone in my pocket, and when I touch it, it puts me “in state” to be more present.
But there isn’t a stone; it’s a polished neural network that lights up when you “invoke: it.
And even though this is based on neuroscience, it can feel magical.
And certainly a better experience than being annoyed about something you cannot change.
This week, when you find yourself stuck in traffic or a long line, see if you can just let the moment be what it is and silently say to yourself, “Waiting is.”
Being impatient doesn’t move the line or get you where you want to go faster; it just colors your moment with anxiety and tension.
Instead, notice the sky. Be present with your feelings in your heart. Notice others’ faces and feel into how deep we all go.
Or even deeper – be present with omnipresent emanation of being from which all awareness flows.
Stay present, and remember—your peace is often a choice.
– Brett