A few years ago, I was teaching a course on Mindful Presence and Communication, and one of the exercises was deceptively simple:
Pair up. One person tells a story. The other listens — not just to the content, but to the human being behind the words.
Not just what they’re saying, but who is saying it.
One of the participants, a Microsoft engineer, came up to me afterward. He’d clearly been moved by the exercise.
He said:
“I realized that in order to listen beyond someone else’s story, I had to drop my own.”
That’s it.
That’s the shift.
If you’re in your head wondering what to say next, hoping you’re doing it right, questioning how you’re being perceived — you’re not truly listening.
Not really.
Because to hear the depth of someone else’s experience, you have to make room for it — and that means stepping outside the static of your own internal narrative.
And yet, this isn’t about being empty or passive. It’s about being open, grounded, and most of all – curious.
It’s about being present with the other without losing touch with yourself. (When i teach this to coaches and other professionals, I call it “dual awareness”)
It’s simple. But it’s not easy.
That’s why I teach it as a practice. Because like all transformational skills, it starts with awareness. And it grows through repetition.
This week, try this:
In your next meaningful conversation — especially one that feels familiar — notice your own inner dialogue. Gently name it. Then let it settle.
Drop your story — even for a moment — and listen beyond.
You might hear something that changes everything.
Stay present,
— Brett
P.S.
This kind of presence doesn’t come from theory — it comes from embodied practice. That’s what my training is all about. If you’d like to explore how to deepen your presence and integrate this into your work, just hit reply. I’m happy to share what’s possible.