Hi ,
One of the simplest yet most powerful practices I use—and regularly share with clients—is to pause and sincerely ask this question:
“What’s it like to be me, right now?”
Take a moment and try it:
- Pause whatever you’re doing for just a few seconds.
- Take a breath, and sincerely ask yourself: “What’s it like to be me, right now?”
No judgment, no big story—just noticing your experience.
Give yourself a good 30 seconds and simply name what you notice, even if it’s powerful.
Imagine stepping into an unfamiliar hotel room for the first time. You don’t immediately judge the decor or arrangement of the furniture—you simply look around to see what’s there. “Oh, there’s a desk. There’s a chair by the window. There’s a cool graphic painting on the wall.”
Apply the same gentle curiosity to yourself.
You might notice you’re relaxed and comfortable. You might notice tension, frustration, or distraction. Whatever you find, that’s okay.
“Wow, there’s that tension about what I have to get done.”
“There’s anger about that recent Supreme Court ruling.”
Or perhaps, “I’m excited about doing [that thing you enjoy today].”
You’re simply noticing and naming the truth of your experience. No justifications or rationalizations needed.
Now, suppose you discover something uncomfortable, like stress or irritation. That’s normal. It’s just part of your inner landscape at this moment. It’s like realizing your car has a flat tire—you could rage about the inconvenience, but no amount of complaining will change that flat tire.
Instead, you calmly acknowledge: “I have a flat tire. That’s unfortunate—in fact, it really sucks. Okay, what’s next?”
While this might not seem obvious at first, this simple method has a powerful effect that goes far beyond this immediate moment.
When you connect with yourself in this way—simply noticing and naming your experience—you are practicing suspending judgment. You’re becoming informed by the somatic truth of your experience, which will naturally improve your clarity in interactions with others.
This simple practice can significantly deepen your capacity for mindful communication and meaningful connection.
Give it a try: a few times today, simply pause and sincerely ask, “What’s it like to be me, right now?”
Extra credit for if you do this just before, or even during a conversation – then notice if that changed the conversation.
If you do that – I want to hear about it. Really it would make my day.
In the next letter, I’ll share how deepening into this practice opens the door to what many, including me, consider more or less the holy grail of connection – loving presence—a foundational practice taught in Buddhist traditions, and something I explored deeply through meditation and through my work with Ron Kurtz, the creator of the Hakomi method. Magical things can happen when you are in the place. Ron used to say “when sitting with someone in a state of Loving Presence, healing happens.”
Stay present,
Brett